Whataya want from me english
by MagicalFantasie
Summary: The differents thoughts of Damon & Stefan during the 1st season, based on the song "Whataya want from me" by Adam Lambert. Hope you'll like it !


_**Disclaimer :** Vampire Diaries is owned by its author, directors and actors are by themselves (unfortunately)._

_The song is Adam Lambert's, if you don't know it (go kill yourself...? :p) you should just go listen to it, especially the acoustic version : ma-gni-fi-que !_

**www . youtube . com/watch?v=R8bJ_40QgZA**

_Note : first TVD fic, review ? please ? *left on a highway puppy eyes*_

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><p><em><strong>Whataya want from me<strong>_

**Stefan POV**

It's always the same thing. Everytime… I think I'm never gonna see him again, everytime I wonder if it's a good thing or not… but everytime he comes back. Like a nightmare or a ghost, never ever really disappearing. Never that far away, I know it deep inside, I feel it. Haunting me until he gets tired of that little game, then he shows himself… makes a smashing return in my life, and turns around when he turned it upside down. He's like a hurricane, muttering far off and getting inevitably closer until he destroys everything and leaves me alone, mostly broken, and in the alarming wait of the next black cloud, herald of chaos...

I have to admit that he's a man of his word, but i don't know if I will be able to handle his punishment much longer…

_Hey, slow it down_

Nevertheless I can't bring myself to blame him. How could I when everything's my fault ? Mine only…

If only I had been able to act otherwise. If only our lives had taken a different path. If only I could find a way, something, anything allowing me to catch up my errors, to sort out things... If only...

_Whataya want from me_

_Whataya want from me_

But today it's too late… too late to fix what happened. Our links had been cut, they'd been torn away from us long ago, so long ago... And the persons who did that disappeared at this moment, more than one and a half century ago, leaving us alone with only our fears, our doubts and our hatred...

_Yeah I'm afraid_

_Whataya want from me_

_Whataya want from me_

**Damon POV**

160 years. It's quite a long time, don't you think ? Humans can't even imagine how it's long. 160 years. Holly shit. I didn't think i'd last that long. Well, he deserves it. She's dead. I'm dead… and I'd love it to stay that way. Even if, technically, I still am. Dead I mean.

Some would think it's madness, that I should let it go, that since then there's some "prescription". You don't know who you're talking to. And vampires aren't that soft, being one, why should I be ? I know bad excuse, especially when I hate all the forms of conformity… well, being Me, what could I possibly do if not make his life a living Hell ? Yeah, I know. Tolerate my feelings, admit that he thought he was doing something good, admit that I am happy and even kinda touched that he acted the way he did… but eh. For that I'd have to turn that small red button I have in the chest on "on" and, frankly, I don't want to.

_There might have been a time_

_When I would give myself away_

_Oh once upon a time_

_I didn't give a damn_

I could forget Katherine but I don't want to. I loved her, and she loved me. A simple, little thing even my own family didn't. Only Stefan. At the time I loved him too but… she was the only one that really mattered. And she had to choose him too. What would have you done had you been in my situation ? You can love a brother, more than anything, you don't sleep with him for all that, and that's not that that will make you accept him sleeping with the woman you're in love with. Anyway, I couldn't. Not before, not now.

_But now here we are_

She is in this grave, and I roam with for only purpose the promise made to my dear brother this verry night, and him, he turns around her double, that Elena.

_So whataya want from me_

Maybe it's time for me to show up again…

**Stefan POV**

I knew it ! Damon's back in Mystic Falls.

Usually he just has to appear in a city, so big is it, for the mortality rate to increase in a row, nevertheless this time he seems to want to make low profile.

As much as he can of course. Hell Damon is and always will be Damon… He personifies the myth of the vampire. All the fears it brings too… Humans have all the right on Earth to be afraid of the dark, shadows and fog. An old man said to me a day that we never knew from which monstrousness they could hide the approach. I know... And Damon is capable of the worst of them.

_Whataya want from me_

**Damon POV**

Mystic Falls. I'd forgot how much I love that town. It has nothing very extraordinary. If it's not for our house, that I almost missed. Stefan also even if I'd rather go out right in the sun without my ring or stab myself in the heart than saying it to him. Anyway. The perks in being me is that I can act as an angel, everybody thinks that I prepare a terrible blow. I suffered too much in the past to be kind and to take the risk of being fooled once again. One day maybe, who knows... But not now. I'm way better like that, no heart, no conscience, no soul… And nevertheless Stefan is never very far away, as a vague souvenir of my humanity, anchored in the depths of me and that only ask to be released, to repossess me. In the end he's probably the one and only that will ever mattered. Even if I hate him with all my guts as trully as I need blood, I know that deep down I still love him like I never did anyone, that I still need him like I never did anyone else… eh, he's my little brother. That ain't something feelings or time can erase that easily. The most beautiful proof that blood is more powerfull than everything is doubtless the fact that, in spite of my resentment, I watch over him for more than a century, pleading that nobody has the right to hurt him. It's my privilege.

_Just don't give up_

_I'm workin' it out_

_Please don't give up_

_I won't let you down_

**Stefan POV**

_It messed me up_

_Need a second to breath_

_Just keep coming around_

He's driving me crazy. He looks so sincere when he's acting like if wanted to make a move toward me. Like if it really mattered to him. He's 160 years old of experience at this game, sure, but still... I don't know if there isn't as well a part of me dying for that to be true...

_Hey whataya want from me_

_Whataya want from me_

**Damon POV**

Poor Stefan, I really complicated the life of his during all these years. Or the life plain and simple, to the death. Already human I was nothing to him but a waste of his time and yet he stayed there and supported me.

I have a strange impression… like an old souvenir reminding itself at me. A feeling more than a souvenir to be exact. After all these decades could have they found a way out ? Damn. That sucks... Really.

_Yeah it's plain to see_

_That there's nothing wrong with you_

_It's me, I'm a freak_

_But thanks for lovin' me_

'_cause you're doin' it perfectly_

**Stefan POV**

I don't know what to think anymore… he seems… different. Really different. As if he wanted to take everything back and do it all over again, differently. I dreamed about it for so long but now I'm afraid. Afraid that everything goes on repeat, all the story. Afraid that he deceives me too. Again. And should the opposite occur, afraid we didn't know anymore how to be brothers... And nevertheless, there, now, I don't know... I would sincerely like to believe in it, and to try. I feel so… lost.

_There might have been a time_

_When I would let you slip away_

_I wouldn't even try_

_But I think you could save my life..._


End file.
